Wild Clutter

Tech Support - More Thoughts

Since we're really into outsourcing tech support to India these days, maybe we should outsource the U.S. government.  Think about it. We could eliminate a bunch of controversy, wasteful spending and bureaucracy. 

Let's take the president of the United States to start.  (No - this is not a political statement.  All presidents and presidential candidates get equally dumped on here).  Instead of the White House, we could have a little white cubicle in some call center located in, say, Bangalore, India.  No more huge presidential staffs.  Just a computer menu.  No more red phone.  Just a call center headset.  No political campaigns.  Just a call center interview.  Worried about who will answer the phone if there's an emergency somewhere in the world at 3 a.m.?  It will be a highly-motivated guy by the name of Vashun, working the U.S. president graveyard shift.

Vashun will earn $3.24 an hour, with a possible bonus for call volume and productivity, and a commission on any products he can sell.  He will have a heavy accent.  He will get trained inside and out on what to do and say in all situations (supplemented by an elaborate computer-driven instructions which he can access by menu anytime).  He will always be totally polite.

If you wanna call Pres. Vashun and tell him the economy is in the pits, I can see it now ...

"Good evening sir.  My name is Vashun, president of the United States, night shift."

"I am very sorry sir but I do not understand.  What type of fruit contained the pit?"

"Yes sir, I understand. Give me a moment sir.  [computer keys clacking].  Sir, let me suggest a strongly inspirational speech urging consumers to increase their spending.  We currently have seven speeches available."

"Of course sir.  I understand sir.  After diagnosing the problem, I would suggest that we issue tax rebates."

Early Sunday morning ramblings.  OK, that's enough. 

Tech Support

I was talking to a guy on the Tech Support line of a large computer company that I won't name yesterday. Vashun, or something like that. The paper wouldn't pull through my photo printer correctly, and I figured it had something to do with new printer driver software that another Tech Support guy put in the day before.

I told the guy at the start what I had done to test things, and I told him I was pretty sure the problem was with the new printer driver software. The guy went through a bunch of stuff with me – testing the printing, testing the scanning, plugging and unplugging cables, etc., etc., etc.

Picture me in front of my computer at my work table, listening to this guy from India. (P.S. – nothing against India – it's just weird that most tech support comes from there).

OK, so here we are 12 or 13 minutes into the conversation:

Me: "I really think there's a problem with the printer driver your tech support person installed yesterday." (About the 10th time I said this).

India Guy: "Oh yes, I understand sir, but we are properly analyzing the issue and diagnosing the problem. I would now like to try another highly recommended approach to analyzing the problem. Is that acceptable, sir?"

Me: "Sure."

India Guy: "Sir, do you have a vacuum cleaner available?"

Me (not sure I heard right): "A vacuum cleaner?"

India Guy: "Yes, sir. A vacuum cleaner. Do you have one available?"

Me: "Are you serious?"

India Guy: "Oh yes, sir. I will remain on the line while you locate your vacuum cleaner."

Me (can't quite believe that he wants me to vacuum-clean the printer): "I really don't think we need to vacuum the printer. It works fine when I make a copy. The problem is with printing and scanning. I'm pretty sure it's the printer driver software." (For about the 20th time).

India Guy: "I understand sir, but we must properly identify the problem and correct it. May I ask you to retrieve your vacuum cleaner?"

Me: I go downstairs and get the VC. I'm back in about a minute.

Me: "OK, I have the vacuum cleaner." India Guy: "Very good sir. Now would you plug it in?" (I already did that and told him).

India Guy: "I see, sir. Now, do you have an edging attachment? (I did – already attached).

India Guy: "Very good sir. Now would you place the attachment on your vacuum cleaner? (Told him I already did that).

India Guy: "Sir, would you locate the power button on your vacuum cleaner and press it?" (I told him I knew how to turn the VC on).

India Guy: "Sir, may I ask you to carefully run the vacuum cleaner around all four edges of the paper tray, and at the back of the printer."

Me: "I really think the problem is with the printer driver software." (This is for the 25th time).

India Guy: "I understand sir. But let us attempt to clean the machine with the vacuum cleaner. I will wait on the line while you complete the procedure."

Me: I did exactly what he told me. Now picture it: I am standing here running a vacuum cleaner around a piece of high-tech equipment because some guy on the other side of the globe told me to. I should have a picture of this!

Me (after a minute or so of vacuuming): "I vacuumed the printer. What do we do now?"

India Guy: "Very good sir. Now, may I ask you to turn the printer off and unplug the power cable."

Won't go into all that happened next – it was pretty much a repeat of the first 10 or 15 minutes – disconnecting and reconnecting cables and power switches, and testing the printing and the scanning. Told him a few more times – I think the problem is the printer driver software. Result: Exactly the same as when we started. The printer didn't print or scan.

We are now about 35 minutes into the service call.

India Guy: "Thank you for your cooperation, sir. My initial diagnosis of the problem is that we may have a problem with the printer driver software."

So he uninstalled the old driver software and reinstalled it. And then we tested the printer and, sure enough, the printer and scanner worked fine. Call took about 44 minutes.

Stillness and Spirituality

STILLNESS AND SPIRITUALITY (GUEST BLOG BY ADAM PEARSON)

Always thought stillness and silence and isolation and surrender must be part of just about every religious/spiritual tradition.  Stillness takes you to new places, and opens up totally new ways of looking at the world.

So last week I came upon Adam Pearson's great blog on this topic, and he told me it was OK to repost here.  It's a great reminder about something that might be central to all spirituality.

By Adam Pearson

In Psalm 46:10 of the Hebrew Bible, we find a wonderful passage that reads: "Be still and know that I am God." 

The Hebrew stem here translated as "Be still" has the connotations of "cease striving," "surrender," "let go," or "make oneself weak before something" (a variant of submitting, surrendering).  This is the essence of true prayer in Judaism. 

This ties in with the Hindu teaching that the search must be called off in submission to what is, surrendering, letting go, and realizing the Self in silence and stillness. 

It also connects with the Arabic root s-l-m.  Arabic uses a nonconcatenative morphology so when vowels are inserted into this root, various words are generated, eg. salam (peace) and Islam (surrender).  This of course, is the root from which the word "Islam" is derived, and so, combining the semantic meanings of "salam" and "Islam", we find that the Islamic tradition teaches that the essence of Islam is really deeply surrendering to God in peace, that is, "being still and knowing that I am God." The Muslim is also enjoined to be fully present in the 5 daily salah prayers, so this is a very mindful, present, surrendering to the eternal. 

And meditation in the Buddhist tradition is another variant of "being still and knowing," where the "being still" part is interpreted as "sitting in upright posture," and the knowing is interpreted as "being mindfully present."  In Zen, it is in this state that the ever-present Buddha nature reveals itself to itself. 

Finally, Taoist practice, at least in the strand of Taoism called Philosophical Taoism, also involves being still and knowing, and this is at the heart of the Tao te Ching, since the "Tao that can be spoken is not the eternal Tao," and only when the mind is quiet is the Tao realized. 

So we find the great historical traditions of the world all agreeing on the importance of this point, and may even claim that "being still and knowing" is an integral part of the human religious life more generally.  By being still and knowing, re-ligion (re-connection with the eternal) is effected, and the realization of the ever-present is free to occur when reality wakes up to itself and knows itself as itself. 

Backyard Pond in the Early Spring

Backyard pond in the early spring ...

Hyacinths are blooming ...

White anomene and little brother ...

Daffodil breaking through ...

Mystery fish made it through the winter. They mysteriously appeared in the pond one day two years ago.  Still don't know who put them there.

Vinca in waiting.  Spring is here ...

Places

When you think about the place you live – or ANY place – you first think about the geography of the place, or maybe famous landmarks, or what the place is noted for in the historical or geographical annals.

I just finished Mark Moran’s and Mark Sceurman’s Weird New York.  The book gave me a whole new outlook on beautiful New York State.  It didn't focus on the NY highways, natural settings, cities or great landmarks.  Instead it was all about unexplained New York State water serpents, bizarre wilderness beats, roadside oddities, ghosts, and haunted places.

Like the mystery lady of Lake Ronkonkoma.  Or Pine Bush, the UFO Capital of New York (I never even heard of this place before reading the book).  The alligators found in New York City sewers (yes – there have been some found there).  The mysterious tunnels beneath Montauk, where bizarre mind control experiments have supposedly been conducted.  Or the Lake Champlain serpent.

Not that I think this stuff necessarily defines New York State. What I read mostly appeals to my curiosity and imagination.  And maybe I’ll travel to some of those strange places this summer or next.

But as I was thinking about the book, it got me thinking that the meaning of a “place” isn’t about where or what it is – but what it’s noted for.

A “place” is all about the lore and myth and legends that defined it in the eyes of people who lived there 50, 100 or 200 years ago. Any “place” has greater meaning than its physical location or appearance.  Doesn’t matter whether it’s a state, a city or town, a region, a neighborhood, even a house.  The “place” is all about its longstanding meaning and perception (that big term again) and position in the collective memories and the soul.

OK, OK, OK, Another Illusions Blog

OK, OK, it’s another serious blog.

My overactive imagination has been into illusions lately.  Optical illusions.  I was talking to some friends who said that illusions are roadmaps to wild journeys of the spirit.

Look at a totally weird optical illusion and the room starts to spin or your eyes see crazy colors or your brain starts to get fried.

You can enter a meditative state.  Or altered state.  Or soul state.  Whatever you want to call it.

Optical illusions lead the mind somewhere out there.  Your head and soul move in a totally different direction.  Somewhere in there.

Last Thoughts (for now) on Perception and Reality

More thoughts on reality and perception.

Read this sentence:  I never said he took that food.

OK, now re-read the sentence seven times, but put the linguistic or verbal emphasis on a different word each time:

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

I never said he took that food.

OK, seven sentences, all the same words, but each implying a very different truth.  A subtle shift in what we hear changes our perception - and ultimately, the reality.  Can we ever experience a uniform and universal reality?  Maybe not.

OK, that's it on the perception/reality subject (for now).  Next blog will maybe be something lighter.

Still Another Thought About Illusions

This shot - "Aura" - is an old pic I dug up.  Took it a LONG time ago.  Just an ordinary tulip on an ordinary spring day.  Check it out.  The tulip looks translucent and it looks like there’s an aura around the flower.  (No, it’s not photoshoped or altered in any way).

So what’s going on? 

Can we ever trust our heads to know exactly what we’re seeing around us?  How do we look beyond the obvious?

More on Perceptions and Illusions

So I was reading the other day about something called Starbuck’s Pebbles.  No - nothing to do with the coffee people.  The pebbles are a visual illusion that symbolize the confusion and the mystery of everything around us. 

This is kind of amazing.  You can connect the circles in many different ways.  A pentagram and a star are the most common designs, but you can make dozens or even hundreds of others.  You can create lines inside the circles.  You can create circles around the circles. 

So when you look at the pebbles, what shape do you see?  Do you sense order or disorder?  Do you see a thought or emotion in the illusion?  Do you see deep meaning - or just overactive thinking?

And the real question:  What is real?  Is the truth and the art in the pebbles?  Or is the truth and the art in you?

Photography and Perceptions and Illusions

I just dug up this shot.  I’m calling it Drinking on the Mountainside. 

Not that I drink on mountainsides.  (Not often).  So the question is:  Why does the shot look so weird?  I don’t remember.  Did I shot the photo in a raging windstorm?  Did my hiking buddy give me a shove when I took the picture?  Was there something strange about the landscape?  I wonder what it’s "supposed" to look like.

Sometimes a photographer-friend and I compare scenes and shots.  We can look at exactly the same thing and see the scene in totally different ways.  Reminds me that what we see begins in our heads.  We all see people, places and things in radically different ways.  That’s kind of amazing, and makes for a lot of challenges.

And so I still wonder what was happening on that weird mountainside.